So, to get you in a lighter mood, here are some cheesy and silly #ValentinesDayJokes, funny #pickuplines & weird #randomjokes.
The most effective way to remember to buy something for your wife on Valentine's Day is... to forget it once!
Valentine's Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
My wife just called me lazy and said I'd better have something planned for Valentine's Day.
I said: "Yes, I was thinking of taking the Christmas decorations down."
My wife rang me at work on Valentine's Day and said:
"Three of the girls in the office have just received bunches of flowers. They're absolutely gorgeous."
I said: "That's probably why they've been sent flowers then."
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome.
So the man continued carefully through the woods. He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to marry!”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!” she replied.
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
So, curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer." the man said.
I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.
Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a happy marriage like mine.