Guess what? Its Christmas! OK, well, not exactly. It is around the corner and I think there is no better way to get in the Christmas mood, I mean, Christmas cheer, but by some awesome jokes! #JustSaying.
So, I have put together a few Christmas jokes I hope will bring a smile to your face and if you have more to add, PLEASE! Add them below in the comments section. We all would appreciate it!
Without further ado, here are my top jokes for Christmas and if you are on Twitter, follow me there and get a joke on your feed every day in December. #ChristmasJokes
Q: What’s the best Christmas Present? A: A broken drum; you can't beat it.
Q: What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck? A: A Christmas Quacker!
Q: How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? A: He was hooked on trees his whole life.
Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: A wrapper!
Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A: A rebel without a Claus.
Q. What do you call an outlaw who steals gift wrapping from the rich to give to the poor? A. Ribbon Hood.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party? A: He had no-body to go with.
Q: What never eats at Christmas dinner? A: The turkey, it’s stuffed.
Q: Why is Santa so jolly? A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies? A: Snowballs.
Q: What does One Direction and my Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have ornamental balls.
Q: What does one ho plus two ho make? A: A jolly Santa
Q: What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? A: Santa stopped at 3 ho's.
Q: What do you call a blind reindeer? A: I have no eye deer
Q: What does Christmas and weirdo's have in comman? A: Fruitcake.
Q: What do snowmen like to do on the weekend? A: Chill out
Q: Why does Santa land on the roof? A: Because he likes it on top.
Q: Why do Elves laugh when they run? A: Because the snow tickles their balls.
On Christmas morning, a police officer on horseback had stop for a while. A kid was beside him and the police said, "Did Santa give you that bicycle." The kid said yes. Then the police man said, "Next time tell Santa to put a taillight on it." He gave the kid a ticket fined $20. Before the police left, the kid asked, "Did Santa give you the horse?" The police, joking, said yes. Then the kid said, "Next time, tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, not on top."
Well, that's all the Christmas jokes from me! If you have any, please tell them below in the comments section... and i might even add them onto my Twitter feed. Take care and be blessed!
Martin is a digital marketing specialist, a producer and always online. His educational background is Digital and has given him a broad base from which to approach many topics. His wife & little girl comes first and in his spare time he really enjoys making music.
